COUCH POTATO GUIDE
For all you binge watchers and TV addicts out there, this week marks the start of your favorite time of year, Spring Premieres. And, OH don’t we know that amazing feeling of watching your favorite show after a months-long wait?
That’s why we’re bringing you the ultimate guide to Spring TV Premieres. What to watch, what to drink, and how to enjoy.
Grab that remote, iPad, laptop, or however you watch, and get ready for some good old fashioned couch potato action.
“THE VOICE”
Returns: Monday, February 29 at 8pm on NBC
Grab your old karaoke boom box, – you know the one in your parents game room all those years that’s still laying around collecting dust – grab some friends, and have an epic night of singing along with all of the voice contestants. Hefty bottles of wine strongly recommended….
“THE BLIND SPOT”
Returns: Monday, February 29 at 10pm on NBC
Grab your favorite temporary tattoos, tat yourself up, and get ready for some serious government agency conspiracy theories.
THE REAL O’NEALS
Airs: Wednesday, March 2 at 8:30pm on ABC
We’re ready for some laughs watching ABC’s newest slightly provocative family sitcom. A seemingly perfect Irish Catholic family accidentally airs their dirty laundry in front of their entire church. One son’s anorexia, another’s coming out, and the parents’ divorce announcement has us feeling like maybe our family drama was actually the norm.
THE FAMILY
Airs: Thursday, March 3 at 9pm on ABC
We foresee some nightmares in our future thanks to this new thriller. The young son of a politician goes missing and 10 years later a boy emerges claiming he’s her son. Previews leave us guessing whether he really is the missing boy, and a creepy repeated viewing of an old home video have us clutching a blanket and rocking gently…
“HOUSE OF CARDS”
Returns: Friday, March 4 on Netflix
We have high hopes for Frank Underwood this season, but wouldn’t hurt to have some bourbon at the ready just in case. Who else wanted to learn origami after last season?
“QUANTICO”
Returns: Sunday, March 6 at 10pm on ABC
Some serious kick-a** female moments from Priyanka Chopra have us drinking protein shakes and scheduling our next Shadowbox class.
FLAKED
Airs: Friday, March 11 on Netflix
Will Arnett as a perpetual liar and self-proclaimed guru + Producers from Arrested Development, The Office and Black-ish + Netflix = Recipe for success.
“NASHVILLE”
Returns: Wednesday, March 16 at 10pm on ABC
Inspired by our recent Nashville excursion, we’re making some vegan “Pulled Pork” Sammies, and enjoying some good old fashioned southern drama.
THE AMERICANS
Returns: Wednesday, March 16 at 10pm on FX
Our favorite Soviet spies return, for some action-packed drama. We’re grabbing our favorite bottle of Russian vodka, attempting to drink it straight, and then definitely ending up making vegan white Russians. Because well, we aren’t undercover soviet spies and can’t handle it.
CRIMINAL MINDS: BEYOND BORDERS
Airs: Wednesday, March 16 at 10pm on CBS
We love us some crime solving shows, so we were excited to hear about this new spinoff. There’s some fierce competition that Wednesday night, but we know people just can’t resist some Gary Sinise.
“DANCING WITH THE STARS”
Returns: Monday, March 21 at 8pm on ABC
This season’s cast has yet to be announced, but with recent 90’s and 2000’s stars like Nick Carter competing, it’s probably worth a watch. Wine and sparkly attire recommended.
“THE CATCH”
Premieres: Thursday, March 24 at 10pm on ABC
A new Shonda Rhimes show?? Count us in! We’re pouring an Olivia Pope-sized glass of wine, grabbing our phones, and expecting an awesome hour of highly tweetable entertainment.
THE RANCH
Airs: Friday, April 1 on Netflix
Ashton Kutcher is returning to the small screen, and you better believe we’re gonna watch. Ashton plays a failed semi-pro football player who returns back home to the family ranch in Colorado. Between the former pro-athlete angle and the mostly outdoor setting, we’re counting on those shirtless scenes for our inner middle schoolers.
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF DALLAS
Airs: Monday, April 11 at 10pm on Bravo
As if we didn’t already have enough housewives in our lives, we can add Dallas to the list of cities. We expect big hair, accents, and lots of drama. A large glass of rosé should be on hand at all times.
“UNBREAKABLE KIMMY SCHMIDT”
Returns: Friday, April 15 on Netflix
With gems like “Peeno Noir” from last season, we’re counting on some quotably and definitely laugh out loud moments. Netflix + Chill, party of one!
“GAME OF THRONES”
Returns: Sunday, April 24 at 9pm on HBO
The most important question, will we be seeing Jon Snow?
SILICON VALLEY
Returns: Sunday, April 24 at 10:00pm on HBO
Ride out the evening on HBO with this hilarious portrayal of life in Silicon Valley.
“VEEP”
Returns: Sunday, April 24 at 10:30pm on HBO
Capping off an epic night of season premiers, we are 10000% sure the current election cycle will be perfect fodder for an unforgettable season of “Veep”.
